Monday, August 28, 2006

Sick, Sick, Sick

Perhaps you’re wondering what has happened to me. The last entry was a few days ago and since then the site had been dormant. Well, faithful readers, for the past 36 hours, I have wished on myself nothing short of death, as I laid in bed sick as a dog. Apparently, when you let a ham and cheese sandwich sit out on the kitchen sink for roughly 10 hours, it is no longer considered a consumable by human standards. Long about 9pm on Saturday night, I devoured said sandwich with little regard for public safety, and three hours later, I developed a lump on solid concrete in my lower intestines that I couldn’t wedge out with all the laxatives in a retirement community.

Two hours after that, the situation was completely reversed. Then I threw up. Then I spent hours wishing for a quick and painless death, and if the house suddenly caught fire, I would have waved to my fleeing family from bed, unable… nay, unwilling to move. Bouts of sweating were following by periods of freezing cold. Back pains, stomach pains, neck pains, jiggy-leg, pins and needles, headaches, eye-aches and dry mouth. I couldn’t lay on my left side for someone reason, for when I did, knife-like pains tore up my stomach and balloons of acid scorched my esophagus.

I hate being sick.

On a good note, however; I lost eight pounds.

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